Thursday, August 13, 2009

Freak of the Week #1: Dude Looks Like A Lady

Please only post a picture of yourself as your primary photo. Imagine my confusion when I opened my “Daily 5”, which is a set of 5 guys that Match.com emails subscribers on a daily basis, and I see a photo of a lady. An old lady. Had I had just been paired with an over 50 heterosexual tranny by my on-line dating service?

Bastards.

After staring at my computer screen for a good minute, befuddled as fuck, I began to think that maybe this guy wasn’t a tranny. Maybe some guy uploaded a picture of his mom instead of himself, or maybe he has a granny fetish.

I had to check out this profile and find out what was going on with this guy.

It took me going through this guy’s profile to decipher that the 50+ woman in his main profile picture is not him dressed in drag. So, is it his mom? I haven’t the foggiest. After reading his rant about women and mothers though – he very well could suffer from Norman Bates syndrome.

Posting a good and actual photo of yourself as a main profile picture is detrimental to cyber-dating success. Some folks just don’t seem to have common sense enough to get that. I wonder how many emails this dude and his mom have received from women? My guess is zilch.

Check out what Norman had to say:
_________________________________________________________________

* 32-year-old man
* seeking women 30-50

About My Life And What I'm Looking For:

I am ambitious, purposeful man with interesting life. I just need my second half, nothing else. I could tell to you a lot of good about myself. But it would be silly in all .

I believe in the family unit. The mother is the center of it all: being the main heart which beats for the man and the children. We all use her love to replenish our own hearts with joy and warmth, and we honor her for this. I also believe the man to be the leader of the family. When trouble arises from the outside world, his body will be a shield, and cover his wife and children as they huddle underneath him. He should be like a rock these outside negative forces break themselves against when trying to harm his family and his love. His best friend: his wife. I have been around the world, on my own… and when I say I will be somewhere, I will be, so you better be waiting with open arms and a warm smile if you ask me to come! I am not interested in games, so please don’t contact me if you are not serious about finding your soul mate. I am looking for that special someone who has eluded me so far in my life: my soul mate, my true love, my one and only, forever... If you really want to know more about me, what I like, what drives me and what fuels the passion in my heart to write, to be creative, to live, everyday, and love life, discover the name of the band and the song behind these lyrics: “Was it in the cold of that knife you screwed in the heart of the enduring? 'Cause when you opened that door, you knew, well now, there'd be no returning, Or room to mourn what we have lost, to wait while the willing.

2 comments:

Sarah K said...

your blog totally makes me want to ditch cyberdating and go back to picking up randoms in bars. but i like it. your blog, not picking up randoms in bars.

Courtney said...

Hahaha this is hilarious. What a funny and clever idea for a blog. I will be def be reading you :)