Friday, November 13, 2009

Douchebag of the Week #8: Low Hanging Fruit Dude

What is wrong with a person who wants to date someone who is not smart and not good-looking? My guess is he is some kind of control freak. If the lady is too pretty or smart, she might leave him, but most likely she will never call his ass again after the first date. It also sounds like her main competition for this guy’s attention is with various phone sex operators. I sincerely hope that there are no women out their with such shitty self-esteem that they would actually consider contacting this wankshaft.

What kind of woman would respond to dating profile like this? “Hey! I am ugly and stoopid! This is the guy for me!”

Check out this freak’s profile:
52-year-old man

Body type: About average
Height: 5'5" (165cms)
Religion: Other
Smoke: No Way
Drink: Never

About my life and what I'm looking for:
I am chinese and I like to meet ladies that are asian. I like ladies that are nice, caring, thoughtful, and willing to try new things. I like to find someone that is not too smart, just average. I like to meet ladies that are between the age of 33 to 42, average looking, not marry or separate.

For fun:
I like to hear songs of Kenney Roger, Donny Osmond, and etc. I like to eat out at the restaurant, sometimes see movies. In my spare time, I like to talk with ladies on the phone. I also like to collect coins and rolex watches.

Favorite hot spots:
I like to eat all kinds of chinese and american food, the only food I don't like is Indian food, because I went to this restaurant, I didn't eat any of this kind of food. I like to attend any coffee shops. I like to go to reno and Las Vagas.

Favorite things:
My favorite thing to eat is seafoods and all colors are my favorite, except yellow and green. In the rainy day, I like to listen to music, and I like to shop at Mervilyn and Ross department store.

About my date:
Eyes: Black
Height: 5'2" (158cms) to 5'5" (165cms)
Body type: About average, Slender
Ethnicity: Asian, Pacific Islander

Friday, November 6, 2009

What's In A Name: Lesson 1

The screen name you pick for yourself will be one of the first things, if not the first thing, a potential date will see. Just like having a bad profile picture, a bad screen name can have you dateless and home alone choking your smurf.

The screen name you pick for an on-line dating site will be with you for the duration of your existence in the on-line dating world. Your screen name is a window, revealing something about yourself while simultaneously serving as an attention getter. Therefore, a funny screen name could make a potential suitor curious, while a dodgy screen name could have your emails deleted before they are even read.

There’s is nothing worse that checking your on-line profile for email, seeing you have a email from someone with the screen name Born_2_Fart or Dav_poundmuff.

Hello, vomit. Welcome to my mouth. No, don’t leave. Stay a while, and then just go back the way you came.

My buddy Randum was repulsed upon seeing that a man with the screen name “Flower” had contacted her via her on-line dating profile. The irony with Flower is that he has this wussy girly-man screen name, but he looks quite the brute and drives a mustang.

In cyberspace, your screen name reveals a lot about your personality, or a hobby, or a side of you. Select a screen name that says something about you or is a conversation starter; like Scuba_Steve82, knifethrower, or Dave_in_Denver. I also ran across the screen name “notta_douche” a while back, and that made me laugh.

Here are some other crappy screen names I have come across: