Wednesday, August 19, 2009

What Not To Post On Your On-Line Dating Profile: Lesson 8

Refrain from launching into a scary 1950’s ideal about marriage and your ideal man in the opening statements of your on-line dating profile.

It may be difficult, especially if you just got out of a relationship where you have been really hurt, but try to sound warm and inviting. You don’t want to scare potential dates away, and that’s what profiles describing your dream guy down to every last detail do. Boys do not gravitate towards rancorous shrews.

I’ve actually been doing a bit of experimenting in this aspect with my own on-line dating profile.

I have my standard “Hi – I’m single and cute and fun” introduction, but a few weeks ago I added a “bitter” paragraph. The bitter paragraph is a rant about what type of guys shouldn’t even bother reading my profile.

Since adding this paragraph, I have not received as many emails and winks as I did previously. The men who do contact me ask about the paragraph right away, and one of these suitors commented that the statement reeked of a bad past relationship.

As resentment tends to scare people off, please leave it out of your online dating profile. Even if you did manage to meet someone, despite sounding like a insistent hell-cat on your profile, you don’t want to embark on a new dating relationship dragging the ghosts of relationships past along with you.

Here’s a frightening little succubus I came across a few weeks ago. Could you imagine trying to please this woman? Oy Vey.

_____________________________________________________________________

Be gentle, it's my first time.

I'm at the point in my life where I'm ready to settle down. But I'm also very selective in what type of guy I am looking for. I would definitely love to find Mr. Right, but I'm still having fun and enjoying my life until I find him! :) When I am finally married, my husband will be the breadwinner and go to work, and I will stay at home and make sure he comes home to a clean house with dinner on the table!

As for my perfect match, of course I want a prince on a white horse... but when I'm not looking on the world through the pink glasses, I just want a good man. He is handsome, has good manners, has a decent job, has never been married, does not have children but wants them soon, carries in the bags from the supermarket, likes my home-cooked dinners, thinks I'm adorable, remembers important dates, makes me laugh. He is also strong, focused, knows the importance of family, doesn't gossip, keeps his promises, makes his own fortune, and strives to be a role model.

My mother is Japanese, and my father is German.
my religion:

my religion:
I go to shul on some Shabbats, and I want to raise my children Jewishly.

7 comments:

Sarah K said...

oh, ok. she's a jewish princess. that makes it ok. if i wasn't attached to my screen, i would totally punch her profile pic.

Mikki said...

pretty sure every guy that reads that just laughs and keeps on flipping through profiles. DREAM ON LADY!

mysterg said...

I actually think I might be in love! I would definitely date her.

Although I'm a huge fan of Mad Men so maybe it's just the 1950's housewife thing.

Perhaps this is why I'm single?

Mr. Apron said...

"I want to raise my children Jewishly."

Jewish-ly?

What, exactly, does that mean? Is that like the Crystal Lite version of Jewish? Is it like, chicken with a side of Jewish?

Um, good luck with that.

One Sassy Girl said...

This woman is a lunatic. Only men who want a spineless twit who wants to contribute nothing to the world and lay around on her fat, ignorant ass all day will "wink" at her. Or maybe just the guys who want to bang her and run. Always an option.

Umm, I hate her.

mysterg said...

Thanks for the compliment Sass!

LisaP said...

I'm totally going to start saying, "I want to (blank) Jewishly" ALL. THE. TIME.

And I've never done anything Jewishly in my life (unless making matzo ball soup from a mix counts). But still.