Friday, May 22, 2009

What Not To Do While On-Line Dating: Lesson 1

Do not contact people that have a trait or situation that is not going to work for you. For example, if you don’t want to date someone with kids, then do not wink and email anyone with two rug-rats.

These dating websites ask questions and post the answers on your profile in order to help you find a match: ignoring someone's requirements and specifications will help not you find an ideal match, and in many cases, will just get you blocked.

Lately I have been getting emails from readers who are on-line dating and their chief complaint is the communications they receive from potential dates outside their specifications. Here is an actual email exchange that ties in with this week’s lesson.

Boy: Why no pics of knife juggling?

Girl: I do not want to appear too intimidating to potential dates… Visual reinforcement of this activity may prove too much.

[This] combined with my crazy pills, horizontal teeth, and my rap sheet tend to put a lot of sane guys off. Crap - did I just say all that out loud?

There is a picture of you in a sports uniform - what do you play?

Boy: Whatever. You can't have a [screen]name like Knife_juggler, talk about it in your profile, then not show pictures to back it up. Knife juggling is a plus, so that cancels out the rap sheet. Bad teeth and crazy pills are a deal breaker though. So you smoke occasionally? The sports uniform? That would be Icarus. Think rugby, but hardcore.

Girl: Yes, I smoke occasionally. Mainly when I am having drinks with my friends. I don't smoke during the day, and I only smoke without beer if I am extremely stressed out.... Got to keep the bad habits in check.

Boy: That's a shame about the smoking. Although I read it on your profile, you were too irrisistable to pass up writing. Looks like you're trying to quit though. I'm unfortnately allergic to cigarette smoke. Need help quiting completely? ;)

Girl: Shame about the dog. Although they are cute and fun, I am allergic. Maybe you’d like help quitting your pet?

Guess you shouldn’t email girls who have anything other than “I don’t smoke” checked on their profile, no matter how irresistible. Or maybe that was your way of being funny? Either way – you failed.


Anonymous said...

Can I just say I like the friend, bc everyone else I know has the lamest conversations when IMing people from these things...She at least sounds witty and fun.

NobodyofValue said...

LOL friend is far more intersting indeed.