Friday, October 30, 2009

What The Fuck Profile #1: The Maritime Murderer

This profile reads like a want ad a serial killer would place in order to find a victim. Why in Satan's hot Hell would you want to take off with someone, alone, on their boat, to South America, when you haven't dated them for at least a couple of months? You body will end up with Natalee Holloway's.

The guy did not even post a picture, so your friends and family could not even tell the police what the guy looked like when the fuzz come by asking who you took off sailing to the Dominican Republic with after your landlord files a missing person report.

This guy may be the head slave trader. Holy shit.

Here's his profile:

Looking for Long Term MATE. Best Frend and LOVER..Let's see the world. Tom , STILL In the D R now 8 / 11 / 09

* 65-year-old man
* seeking women 107-120
* within 4 miles of North Palm Beach, Florida, United States

Body type: No Answer
Height: 7'6" (229cms)
Religion: Spiritual but not religious
Smoke: No Answer
Drink: No Answer

About my life and what I'm looking for:
Do you Think you would like living on A 65 Boat / swimming / travel / adventure !!!! I live and cruse full time aboard a 65' trawler At this TIME 8 / 11 /09 i am in The Dominican Republic, Luperon aboard MV Essential Part getting ready to go south To Putrco Rico St Thomas St john St croix. centeral America and on. Yes the boat is big enough. E mail me if you have any question's There are so many things to cover and try and explain for this life style very easy going.

Looking For My best frend and lover to travel with.
Yes I am a long term cruser since 2003

I like to live in shorts
Work hard play hard
and enjoy life..

I like light jaz swim ,dive ,cook, and see new things and places I make KILLER FUDGE !! cant find any here in the D R maby I should start selling it.. all the other boaters love it, How about U.?

Liveing and crusing on my boat is Not, as much fun alone!!!!!!
I just Renewed my acc for 3 months 4/ 8 / 09 upping anchor on MV /ESSENTIAl PART and moving south slowly destination ??? some place . HOME IS WHERE THE BOAT IS !!
Want to stop in south america to refuel 2 month from now or 1 1/2 years , no watch or calander I will be checking in here as Internet conection permit..
If you have a (REAL INTREST) in this life Style contact ME.. DR at this time 7 / 1/ 09 out of here in three weeks Maby, It is realey nice here and the people are wonderfull .Then to haul the boat and paint bottom so will need to haul in Trinadad at some point ..will spend some time in St Thomas and stay for a wile ( Come on down ....)


(B) said...

HOLY HELL! I used to live and work within four miles of North Palm Beach.

Joanne said...

Oh crap why wasn't he online when I was single - YIKES!!!
Shouldn't be too hard to find a 7'6" sailor with horrible spelling skills.
Also looks like the entire female population is too young for him except a couple of ladies in far flung Himalayan villages