Friday, October 23, 2009

Douchebag Of The Week #7: The Moocher

The one thing this fuckstick has going for him is that he appears to be honest with what kind of woman he is looking for: a red-headed, spineless, money-making mouse.

This guy is a free-loading parasite. He is looking for a rich woman who will take care of him while he drinks, watches mudfights, and goes to titty bars. What woman would hate herself enough to actively pursue the kind of man I see getting pummeled by Judge Judy and Judge Alex for being a deadbeat dad? This guy has nothing to offer the female race but a penis and scrotum cheese, and really girls, we can find dicks anywhere. They even sell cocks in stores now.

I am curious as to whether he doesn’t like to work because his money is taken by the state in order to pay child-support for his 3 kids or if he’s just lazy. I’m guessing both. I wonder if he pays for his on-line dating service subscription with money one of his girlfriends gave him.

Here’s The Moocher’s Profile:

38-year-old man
seeking women 18-70

Relationships: Never Married
Have kids: Yes, and they live away from home (More than 3)
Want kids: Definitely

Religion: Jewish
Smoke: Daily
Drink: Regularly

About my life and what I'm looking for:
Hey I am looking for my lifelong-companion, It's hard for me to describe myself, but I look like a black Mel brooks, I don't like to work, I hope you can support me. I'm laid back, enjoy smoking, NASCAR, wrestling, mudfights, guns, gentlemen's clubs

About me:
Exercise habits: Never
Income: Less Than $25,000
Languages: English, Hebrew
Politics: Ultra Conservative

About my date:
Hair: Auburn / Red
Eyes: Grey
Height: 3'0" (91cms) to 8'0" (244cms)
Body type: Big and beautiful, Full-figured

Languages: English, Hebrew
Ethnicity: No Answer

Job: No Answer
Income: $150,001+

Smoke: Daily
Drink: Regularly

Relationships: Currently Separated


Courtney said...

Yeah. Definite douchebag. I hate guys like this. And to make your profile so obvious as to what your intentions are..

Lily said...

Wow, I just...

This might be one of those situations where he should have been a little LESS honest.

Good grief!

I Wonder Wye said...

Seriously? This guy thinks he's attractive by having absolutely nothing to offer??? Nothing. To. Offer. The dating service should be ashamed for running his profile.

Monica said...

Really? A black Mel Brooks? Does he have a mirror?
That profile is just hilarious...

Mr. Apron said...

I don't understand-- I thought I placed a very nice ad.

And I even did it in blackface.

(Hmm... did I just go too far?)